Oh, that was a great evening.
Yeah. Who knew you could dance?
Nobody. It was a surprise to me, too.
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
[Giggles]
Ok, shh.
[Mouths word]
[Whispering] I don't wanna wake 'em up.
Ok.
Hahh! Ohh!
Carey Marie Martin, do you know what time it is?
I believe we agreed that you'd be home by 11:00.
Boy, your parents are strict.
Yeah. Well, I believe we also agreed that you'd be in bed by 10:00.
Who could sleep with the worry?
My bad, guys. Sorry.
Just see that it doesn't happen again.
We're watching you.
So am I.
Ok, gross.
Heh. Harvey, thank you for getting her home safely.
Good night.
Oh. Uh...
Well, I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow, then.
Sounds good. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
As for you, young lady,
you're gonna go straight to your room.
This is my room.
Well, then, you will stay right here,
and we will go straight to our room.
Humph. Humph.
♪ Here I am in your life ♪
♪ here you are in mine ♪
♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪
♪ most of the time ♪
♪ you and me, we got the world to see ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ just me and you know what to do ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ it's you and me and me and you ♪
♪ we got the whole place to ourselves ♪
♪ you and me, we got it all for free ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ this is the suite life ♪
♪ we've got a suite life ♪
[Whistle blows]
No, no, no! No, no! Girls! Girls!
When you spike the ball, aim for the gut.
I don't know.
You can feel guilty about it later.
Oh. Right. Spike, then guilt.
I got it.
Eww.
Ooh.
Hi.
I'm London.
I know.
You almost ran me over with your limo.
I did? Uh, maybe this will jog your memory.
Oh, yeah. Heh heh.
Oh, no. Please tell me
London doesn't want to be on our team.
[Scoffs] London doesn't wanna be on our team.
Really?
I have no idea.
I just like people to be happy.
Good news.
London is joining our volleyball team.
I must have missed the good news part.
Girls, one of the greatest gifts you can give is the gift of inclusion.
[Gruff] So include her.
Yes, sister.
London, show us what you've got.
Ok. I bought this at gold galore
and this at diamond galore and this at galore galore.
[Peppy] Great great!
Come on, men. Let's put limo girl through her paces.
London, you serve.
Oh! Sis.
Ow!
[Whiny] Sister rose, maddie was in my way.
[Whiny] Not if you hit it over the net.
You're nuts.
[Gasps]
Madeline, that is no way to talk to a customer.
I apologize, sir.
You know the youth today-- very angry.
Your macadamia nuts.
I knew that.
This is Harvey. He's dating Carey.
Splendid.
Oh, Harvey, do I hear wedding bells on the horizon?
Well, I-- oh, how I will miss those little tykes.
You are planning on taking them away?
Because I can't miss them if they're still here.
Let's not jump to conclusions.
Ohh, why not? Jumping is fun.
Ha ha ha ha!
Yes, jump with me, Harvey.
Jump. Heh heh heh heh.
I would, but I don't wanna look foolish.
Uh, ahem. Of course not.
Ohh! I think I've frightened him.
Actually, sir, hmm?
You frighten all of us.
Good.
Hey, maddie.
Hey, guys. You just missed Harvey.
Seems like he and your mom are getting pretty serious.
I am so happy for mom.
I don't think Harvey's right for mom.
And you're just happy because he's rich.
[Sputtering, gasping]
N-no. I--I think he is a kind, caring man,
who happens to have a mansion with 5 bathrooms.
We could all go at once and still have one toilet left over.
[Whistle blows] Timeout!
I hate this. We're getting creamed again.
Girls, you represent our lady of perpetual sorrow,
so no sad faces!
London.
What?! Is the game over? Can I go shopping now?
No. Get in the game.
Are you sure that's such a good idea?
It's like my dear friend rabbi nemitz says.
[Yiddish accent] "It can't hurt."
London, put down that phone unless you are talking to the president.
Actually, it's my hairdresser,
and he's much harder to get ahold of.
[Tweet]
[Blowing whistle]
So you're London tipton?
Heh. Why, yes, I am.
No pictures, please.
No problem. I've just always wanted to meet
the dumbest heiress in Boston. [Clucks tongue]
What'd you say?
[Slow] Was I speaking too fast?
[Whistle blows]
[Slow] Did I hit it too hard?
P.A.: Game point. [Whistle blows]
My ball.
[Whistle blows, horn blows]
[All yelling]
London, you did it!
London, that was miraculous.
What has gotten into you?
You can make me fly coach,
you can make me eat day-old lobster,
but call me dumb, and you'll fell my rash!
You mean wrath. That, too.
Look out!
It's not my fault we have a refrigerator
the size of r2-d2.
Well, when mom marries Harvey,
we'll each have our own personal refrigerators.
I think I'll name mine...
Dolores.
Whoa, whoa, whoa there.
Let's grab ahold of reality and take it for a ride, shall we?
Mom is not going to marry Harvey.
And how do you know?
[Banging on door]
I've set some wheels in motion.
Cody, I got your call.
What's the emergency, and who's hurt?
It's mom. What's wrong with her?
She's getting serious about this guy,
and I need you to stop it.
That's the emergency?
I took a bus, 2 planes, and a roller coaster to get here.
A roller coaster?
Aw, there was a layover,
and the airport was near an amusement park.
2 loops, upside down, then it goes backwards!
Whoo! I am still dizzy! Huh?
Aw, sweet!
Dad, focus.
This guy is all wrong for mom.
He's a lawyer named Harvey.
A lawyer?
Wow. I always thought mom would end up with the artistic type,
you know, funny, free-spirited,
incredibly handsome. Heh heh. Like me.
Oh, yeah, 'cause that worked out so well the first time.
Kurt. What are you doing here?
Uh...
Uh, can't a man visit his children?
Sure, if that man calls first.
Look, I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound rude,
but my boy-- ish friend
is coming over for dinner soon.
Great. What are we having?
Apparently 4 chicken breasts on 5 plates.
[Whistle blows]
Huddle up, men!
Ok, we are gonna stomp these losers right into the ground.
Let us pray.
Lord, please help us stomp these losers into the ground. Amen.
Amen. Amen.
1, 2, 3, break!
[Squeals] Hey, babe,
this is for you.
[Gasps] Thanks.
"Dear London, wanna have dinner?
Ox, ox, ox."
No, actually, those are os and xs.
You know, like hugs and kisses.
Oh!
Oxs to you, too, sweetie.
[Whistle blows]
London, what is wrong?
I'm in love. What could be wrong?
Letting the ball go right past you.
[Whistle blows]
London, heads up!
[Whistle blows]
You're not supposed to catch it.
I forgot. Silly me.
[Grunts]
Carey: Want some coffee, honey?
Yes. Yes.
Ok. Coffee for two.
So, uh, partner in a law firm.
You must be a workaholic.
You know, no time for family or fun.
It's just work, work, work.
No. I never work on the weekends.
That's when I take the yacht out.
Yacht?
Ehh, is that like a really big boat?
How many bathrooms?
You know, I spent a weekend on a yacht once
till the owner came by and chased me off.
That was you?
Ah. Ha ha ha.
[Nervous laugh] You know, it's funny.
You know, at first, I was worried that having my ex-husband
and my current boyfriend in a room together
would make me nervous, but I feel just fine.
How's that rash that broke out during dessert?
The ointment helped. Thanks.
Well, I should get going.
Listen, Kurt, it was, uh, really great to meet you...
You, too.
And I don't mean to be forward,
but if you're ever looking for a new label,
I represent honcho records.
They would love someone with your kind of talent.
Oh, not forward at all.
In fact, I just might have a cd in my back pocket.
Dad! Not now, son.
Daddy's doing business.
Here it is.
Give it to the head honcho himself.
I'll walk you out, Harvey. Ok.
That's so that they can kiss.
Heh heh heh heh heh. And the rash is back.
See what I mean?
Are you going to let mom marry that?
If she doesn't, I will.
I told you he was great.
Try fabulous. I gotta go call my agent.
You guys are missing the point.
Cody, relax.
I know your mom. Trust me.
There is no chemistry between her and Harvey.
Oh, like you're always right.
Hello, Mr. moseby.
Ah, Harvey.
[Western] How's the courtin' comin'?
[Western] Pretty darn good. I think we're a-sparkin'
[ding] Ohh!
Yee-ha!
[Western] Can we got back to our regular voices now?
[Normal] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw a lovely ring in the hotel jewelry store.
Are they still open?
Yes! Yeah?
Ye-heh-heh-heh-es!
Oh, for you, for Carey, you know what?
I'll make sure they stay open till midnight.
You know what, Harvey? Make sure you use my name
and my hotel discount.
Oh, in fact, Harvey, take my wallet.
Ha ha ha!
Oh, happy day!
♪ Ah dat dat dat dat dat, dah ♪
♪ ah dat dat dat dat dat, dah ♪
♪ ah dat dat dat dat dat, hoo! ♪
♪ ah dat dat dat... ♪
Why is Mr. moseby congaing in the lobby?
Can you guys keep a secret?
Absolutely. We swear.
Ok, I'm gonna tell you anyway.
Just don't tell your mother,
but Harvey is going to propose to her tonight.
No!
Yes!
Both: ♪ dat dat dat dat dat, dah ♪
♪ ah dat dat dat dat dat, dah ♪
♪ ah dat dat dat dat dat-- ♪ [Gasps]
Don't touch me.
♪ Ah dat dat dat dat dat, dah ♪
♪ ah dat dat dat dat dat, hoo! ♪
♪ ah dat dat dat dat dat... ♪
[Sighs] We don't stand a chance.
They're the best team in the league.
What can we do?
We're never gonna win unless we get London mad again.
Thank you, Joe.
I just thought of the most scathingly brilliant plan,
but it's kind of mean.
I love it already.
Ok, London is incredibly jealous,
so if she sees Joe kissing another girl...
She'll get so mad.
And then we'll win the game.
Ohh! I get it. I get it.
Well, you know, if someone's
gotta kiss Joe for the good of the team,
I'll make the sacrifice.
Oh! Hey, my idea, my lips.
Just make sure London has a good view of us.
Ok.
I'm so excited. Thank you.
Hey, there, London.
Coach wants you to warm up.
Ok. I'll go get my sweater.
Ok.
So, Joe, things seem to be going well with you two.
Yeah. We, uh-- we have a lot in--
common.
[Gasps]
Maddie, how could you?
I wasn't me. It was Joe. He's an animal.
[Whistle blows]
[Cheering]
Take that, you lousy two-timer.
I got--
[cheering]
Visitor: Stay focused.
[Cheering]
P.A.: Game point.
[Blows whistle]
[Horn blows]
[Whistle blows]
Sister rose: Aah! We won! We won it!
All right, all right, but winning isn't everything.
Just a heck of a lot better than losing!
[Cheering]
London, cheer up. We won.
How can I cheer up when Joe doesn't love me anymore?
The truth is I kissed him.
I did it to make you angry so we'd win.
You wanted to win so badly, you were willing to hurt me?
When you say it like that, it sounds so...
Bad.
Well, how can you say it to make it sound good?
[Peppy] I wanted to win so badly, I was willing to hurt you.
[Peppy] Well, congratulations.
It worked.
[Piano playing]
Hi, honey. Hi.
Sorry I'm a little--
breadstick?
Late.
Uh, no, thanks. Not right now.
Ok.
But you're definitely gonna
have a breadstick, though, right?
Eventually. I just wanna relax for a minute.
You know what's relaxing?
Boy, chewin' on a breadstick.
Oh! I-I'm sorry.
[Line unreeling]
Rats.
Hey, Cody.
Ohh!
What ya doin'?
Nothin'.
[Piano music playing]
How did you find me?
You left a diagram.
Oh.
Look, Cody, I know you're having
a tough time with this, all right,
but stealing the ring isn't gonna stop mom
from marrying Harvey if she wants to.
I'm telling you, Harvey is not the right guy for mom.
Why?
Because he's...
Well, you know. He's...
You know.
You got a point there.
Ok, so he's perfect,
but let him go be perfect with somebody else's mom.
We're doing just fine on our own.
So this isn't so much about him.
It's more about you.
You kind of like things just the way they are.
Yeah, just mom, Zack, and me.
[Coughs] And daddy.
Of course.
Look, buddy, I understand how you feel.
I'm--change is hard,
but it's a part of life.
You know, your mom spends her whole life putting you guys first.
I know. I know.
So if--if she really loves this guy and...
He makes her happy, don't you think
maybe it's time to put her first?
I guess.
That's my boy.
Fine. Let's get out of here.
Besides, it kind of stinks.
Sorry.
Ah. Am I too late? Did she say yes?
I haven't asked her yet. Why not?
Because I put the ring on the breadstick,
and she won't have a breadstick.
You're not marrying the breadstick.
You're marrying her.
So take the ring off of the breadstick
and put it on her finger like this.
Ooh, that's lovely.
Now--[Grunts]
Ohoh.
What do you mean, "ohoh"?
It's stuck.
How could it be stuck?
Well, I have a very slim figure,
but disproportionately chubby fingers.
Just get some butter.
They never brought any.
[Gasps] They didn't?!
Ohh! I have to talk to the staff.
No, not now. Here she comes.
Mr. moseby, what are you doing here?
Just here to lend a hand.
Carey, there's, uh, something I wanna give you.
You wanna give me Mr. moseby?
No. I-it's the ring.
I love you, Carey, and...
Oh. Yes.
And I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.
Will you marry me?
I don't know what to say.
Say yes! No matter what Cody says,
I want you and Harvey to get married.
What are you talking about?
Cody's not even here.
Mom, I need to talk to you.
Cody, you're here.
And Kurt. Hi.
Ah. I guess we should've gotten a bigger table.
Mom, I realize now I was wrong
to say that Harvey wasn't right for you.
You never told me that.
Well, I told everyone else.
He did. Yes.
We were up in the vent, and we were talking.
Anyway, if you wanna marry Harvey,
you have my permission.
Thank you. Zack: Yes!
Harvey, wonderful. Congratulations.
Yes! Yes!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Timeout.
There's just one teensy-weensy detail.
I haven't answered yet.
Well, could you hurry up?
'Cause I was hoping we'd honeymoon in Fiji.
Fiji's nice. [All talking]
Harvey.
This month we've spent together has been really wonderful.
Better than the time
we drove cross-country in the van?
Harvey, you are a sweet and funny--
oh, oh! And don't forget rich.
But this is too fast.
The truth is I'm just not ready to get married right now.
[Whimpers]
[Sobbing]
I'm really sorry, Harvey.
Me, too.
Fellas, come on. It's ok.
We'll--we'll get through this.
Well, I better go return the ring.
Can I still use your luxury box?
This doesn't affect our record deal, does it?
Harvey? Harvey?
I'm sorry you were so upset.
I really appreciate you giving me permission to have a life.
I want you to know that I would never marry anyone
who wasn't ok with you and Zack.
[Mr. moseby weeping]
And Mr. moseby.
Maddie.
What are you still doing here?
[Sighs] Waiting for you to change.
What took you so long?
Hello. Gorgeous.
Hello. You.
Well, me is here to apologize.
The victory wasn't worth hurting you.
I'm really sorry.
[Sighs] Ok.
I forgive you.
Now I gotta go make up with Joe.
You are so lucky.
He is such a great kisser.
Not that I enjoyed it at all.